Hi Miss ... :>

This week’s topics were very interesting one was the “Uncertainty Reduction Theory” in which both persons aim in a conversation is to decrease that awkwardness between them conversing and finding some common thing to talk about. Another theory that was discussed was the “Social Exchange Theory” which is weighing the “costs” and “rewards” of a person’s relationship with someone. Honestly, I really find our Communication class very interesting and also, sorry if I always come in late in class. When my 9:30-10:20 class ends in Sec C I always pass by the school chapel before going to the Social Sciences Building.

Anyway, on topic, first off is the Uncertainty Reduction Theory. I’m not a great conversationalist especially when meeting new people. Of course there’s the usual “What’s your name?”, “What’s your course”, “Where are you from”, etc … which are all cliché’s in a “meeting-someone-new conversation”. But after all those questions, what happens next? That’s where the Uncertainty Reduction Theory comes in, we try to find a topic in which the both of us (the speaker and the one being talked to) have common ground thus advancing their conversation. Usually, there’s just this awkward silence after all those intro questions.

Now, I’m going to share a story regarding Uncertainty Reduction Theory …
Since elementary I had been shy when talking to girls especially if I have a crush on that girl. Some might be wondering how I got in a “relationship” back then or to put it during those times an “M.U” or Mutual Understanding, what I did back then was to do everything online; Friendster which was still popular back then and also Yahoo Messenger. I know, it’s really crappy right? Oh and also, I also used text messaging. I find it easier for me to express myself through those things because when you say something there’s no way to see the other person’s reaction to what you just said. I was afraid of rejection back then, I was afraid that I might say something that I might upset the person. In other words, there was always this HUGE UNCERTAINTY that lingered with me to whoever girl I talked to. After the third girl left me I thought to myself “Enough of love”. I didn’t know back then that what I was feeling wasn’t love. It was just some mere pre-adolescent-feeling-for-the-opposite-sex.

Summer came, it was before senior year. As part of the student council I was one of the organizers and group facilitators in our annual school “Leadership Training Program”. I was still devastated at the breakup that happened before summer and that girl who broke up with me was an attendee of the event, so even if I didn’t want to … I was going to see her. Anyway, I met another girl in the said event, we were just friends during the 3-day seminar but I found myself slowly falling for her. When that happened I was afraid of the possibility of another girl leaving me. I later told her about what I was feeling about her; surprisingly I also found out that she felt the same for me. I just told you how I met the girl of my dreams. It has been almost two and a half years that I know her and we’ve been together for more than a year. Here’s where the Social Exchange Theory comes into play. Earlier on in the relationship we usually had disagreements, misunderstandings, and all those usual stuff that couples go through. During those times I find myself weighing out the Pros and Cons of my relationship, I thought of things like "Is she the one?", "Am I ready for this?", "Is this what I really want?", "What happens if this girl leaves me too?".  In the end I decided that I will stick to it and find out for myself what will happen in the end. These theories play an important role in the bonds that we form with other people who we may not know, they maybe our future wife, husband, business partner … etc.

Here’s the end of my blog entry. I thank you for your time reading it. See you! :)

P.S

Here's a pic of us about 2 years ago. (Btw, regarding the "Hair Wax" blog entry of mine last week. Do compare. haha.)




And this was just taken last March.

Hair Wax

When I first heard of the cognitive dissonance theory, I associated it with the term "bad influence". Doing something against your beliefs - beliefs which you think are right. It exactly sounds like bad influence right ? Another thing I can associate with it is peer pressure or being forced to do something you don't like.

When I was in highschool, I always got nagged by my girl classmates that I should style my hair, apply wax or gel on it. There was even a time, when they disturbed another class just to ask for hair gel so they can use it on me. I don't know if this counts as Cognitive Dissonance though, but I had in my mind that when I used hair wax I would be bald because of all the chemicals in it, and I was scared of being bald. Both of my grandpa's were bald so I kind of knew that someday, it would happen to me. 

Four years in highschool and I never used hair gel or hair wax save for Graduation Day. 

When I entered college, I thought that, "Hey, maybe I ought to try using those kinds of hair products since I'm older now and it's a fresh start". Long story short, now I can't leave our house without fixing my hair and also I have this habit of mine that I find irritating: Every time I pass by a mirror or an object that gives out a reflection of me I always tend to look then fix my hair.

What happened was, in the end I realized that this new look gave me a little bit of self confidence and also, when me and my highschool classmates have a get-together I always overhear the girls whispering about me like "Ang gwapo ni Rico" and stuff like that. Low it may seem, but hearing those kinds of things can give a guy confidence and may also make his day when he's having a bad one.

Here’s another example, which I is also from my own experience …

Before junior year I was enrolled in a swimming class because I didn't know how to swim. Honestly, I'm afraid of swimming in deep water. If the water is above my head level then I raise the white flag, heck I won't even go in the pool. But my mother insisted and kept on nagging me to attend classes. I never finished the two-week course because fear got the better of me. Something which I kind of regretted, because I didn't learn how to swim properly or even go underwater without goggles on. This is one of the reasons why I rarely go to summer outings with friends.

These examples, could have benefited me both except for the last one. If I had just endured it then some things would be different now. What I can say is going against your beliefs can be sometimes a good or a bad thing depending on the decisions that you’ll make. Then again we have our own opinion in different matters say drinking or smoking. Some people say drinking is bad, some say it’s just “social drinking” and some just enjoy drinking excessive amounts then getting drunk. Depending on your peers, whether you’re in one of these “sides”, you can be the person that abstains from drinking, and tells his/her peers that alcohol is bad but because of “Cognitive Dissonance” may sooner or later “try” drinking alcohol.

There's always a reward at the end of every change you make. No matter how painful, tiring, and awkward it may seem at first, it's all worth it in the long run, but also do remember that sometimes there are consequences depending on what you've chosen. 

Here's to the end of this entry, I hope that I got my thoughts clear this time. Thank you for time reading and please do leave a comment! :)

*gestures hand in a "come here" motion*

Honestly, I'm now slowly finding that Communication is very interesting.

To what some people read in my previous post, I was saying there that it was ... what's the right word ... honestly, I thought that the idea that people had came up with theories for Communication was ridiculous and even shocking. I now take back what I said. Learning more about the topic I experienced a paradigm shift





I realized that just like any everyday object or occurrence, Communication too also had it's origins, and explanations. In every conversation we have, all aspects in it have their own label or names. One interesting thing is this "Field-of-experience", which is the experience we bring in to every conversation we have. Experiences, which may be from past conversations or rather things we talk about with another person (a.k.a "Interests/hobbies/etc.) . Or may be, how we should react to different conversations with different people, an example is whether or not we should ask more personal questions to someone or not. In this so-called "field-of-experience", if we had bad experiences in the past regarding asking personal questions then the ideal thing to do is not to ask about them. Before we started studying "Communication", obviously we all know this but not their technical terms which I just found really amazing.

It's like during highschool and elementary, before we even knew the term "Jejemon", we couldn't brand these kinds of people but when the term came out, it felt really exhilarating to finally have a label for these kinds of people. Same thing with what we learned during the week, every object in communicating with someone has a label.

Moving on to non verbal codes, when I greet someone I either "nod" my head or wave my hand and also give the occasional high-five. Earlier this day, I was with my girlfriend and because she wasn't able to go earlier than expected I saw her stomp her feet, flail her hands then she hit my arm. Non verbal coding is indeed everywhere (and it's also painful sometimes), we see it, we do it, but we don't know that we're exactly doing it because it's kind of automatic. I always though that non verbal codes were only hand signals but turns out it wasn't limited to that.

I'm thinking of something though, I'm not sure if it's a non verbal signal though. I'll give you a hint, this is only applicable to guys. When you see a hot/sexy girl, and you feel "something" *wink* *wink*
, is that considered a non-verbal signal that the girl is sending ? I bet this made you think. :>

 

So here are some more examples of non-verbal codes :


"The okay sign"


"The 'ROCK!' sign"


This is pretty self explanatory

Btw, that's not my hand.

Anyway, this ends my blog entry. Because of that paradigm shift, I had more appreciation for the subject. I really find it fun and interesting to learn new things that we see and experience in our everyday lives.

PS. You may notice that this entry is kind of all messed up. I know that. Due to lack of preparation, I wasn't able to organize my thoughts very well. I'll make up for it next week. I swear.

Credits to PHOTOBUCKET for the images. :)

Now Playing : Overthinking - RK

One consistent thought that didn't go out of my head for the whole week, when the lesson began, was

How people before can think of a deeper meaning and even come up with theories in this something we call 'Communication', which is also basically talking or speaking to people. It was simply thought-provoking, it was like over thinking about that particular subject.

At one point I even thought "Were the people bored during the time they thought of that?" Haha. Kidding aside. It's remarkable, at least for me, when people see a deeper meaning to things that we usually take for granted.

Be honest, a majority of us takes "Communication", not the subject but the concept itself,  for granted, right? Because before we started taking up Com11 Class, communication to us was literally talking to other people, speaking on the phone, etc. In class there were even some technical terms such as "Transmitter", "Channel", "Destination", and even "The Mathematical Theory". I believe that we were already applying them subconsciously because when we speak with another person we don't think of ourselves as "Sources", we don't call the thing that we are going to say as the "Message" and we don't refer to the person we are speaking to as the "Destination". What happens is we think of ourselves as the person who has "Gossip" or has a "Joke" or "Story", we refer to the "Destination" as our "Friend, Classmate, Girlfriend, etc ... ".

Gossip/Joke/Story - Message
Friend/Classmate/GF - Destination

See? We use them, but we don't call them by their given name. Anyway, this ends my third entry here in my blog. It's short, but I poured all my thoughts, regarding the lessons this week, here in this entry.